Sunday, October 3, 2010

What Men Really Want

Well, the season of compulsory giving of inappropriate and unappreciated gifts is almost upon us. Everywhere that Consumerism is worshipped and advertising fills the air, Men and Women will receive socks, jocks, foul perfumes and tasteless lingerie. Now I can't (being hopelessly male) help with good presents for women. I guess it'll be back to "Skanky Sue's Hot Underwear Emporium" for me. But I can give you a sure-fire winner for men.

Behold! The 40,000V bug-swatter! Light, cheap, quiet (except for a sharp crack! as it does the job) and almost harmless*. Runs on 2xAA batteries - I use rechargeables of course. Being a bit green and all.

Now here we see an odd moth which has stuck to the protective (ha!) outer grid. You can see the highly charged killing & frying grid tucked away safely at least 2mm behind that. Most moths, mozzies etc hit the inner grid and disintegrate with a slight but pleasant charring smell. Caution! Do not dislodge moths like the one above with your finger, while pressing the button. I tried to import a couple of these from HK a while back and Customs confiscated them. Pikers! But my friendly local hardware shop (old-style, not Bunnings) got hold of some.

No male of my acquaintance has come to the house without trying this thing, turning to his partner and exclaiming "I want one!". It satisfies a deep, fundamental urge to hunt which is buried in the psyche of almost every male. Plus it makes cool noises and smells and kills things.

* Product should not be used on, by or near people with pacemakers or other heart problems. Or by anyone under the influence of alcohol unless it would be, like, really funny. And don't let your dog lick it like the guy in the hardware shop. He didn't come back for a really long time and he hasn't been the same since. The dog that is. And my wife just came and took it. 30 seconds later - "crack. Yay, got it!" I think we need another one.



  1. That's quite awesome. As good a reason for supporting your local hardware store over the hateful Bunnings hypersheds as any.

  2. Fantastic! What are they called and where do I get one?

  3. AA Electric Mosquito Hitting Racket (any imitation will be investigated and accused)

    I got mine at Corinda Hardware.